Theater Bucket List

It seems like lots of folks are composing bucket lists these days, or mentally checking off their own special tabulation of things to do before they die. Friends on Facebook will have seen my progress as a sports fan. But I've also been thinking about my passion for theater. And before I go and have my remains parked in my favorite non-profit - hopefully with a seat on the aisle - there are some little and big things I‘d like to cross off of my list.

View a play from the Stage Manager's Booth. I've seen a pair of shows from read through to closing night, but have yet to experience the process from Command Central.

Hang in the Green Room. This inner sanctum of the actor - before, during, and after the show - is where I want to be at least once in my life.

Direct a Staged Reading. I'm looking to take a crack at James Joyce's one and only play, Exiles, say sometime around Ground Hog Day (his birthday) or Bloomsday. It's almost never performed, but with a small cast and a love triangle to boot, I know I could make it work or have a hell of a lot of fun trying! Just like Gilbert Kaplan, maybe this can be my Mahler's Second Symphony!

Go to the Tony Awards. I could buy the tickets, but I kind of see myself working the Red Carpet. Christopher Rawson had a great article in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette recently about the experience. Hey, Chris, you all need some help next year?

Sit in on Auditions. I'd love to hunker down with the directors and producers as creative and practical decisions are made for casting shows. Anything from cattle or open calls to invited auditions - whatever - would work for me.

Look at the Books. Get exposure to the business-end of The Business - everything from negotiating contracts, dealing with agents and unions, courting donors and handling the board of directors, programming, budgeting, and grant writing.

Establish or Participate in an Alternative to the Helen Hayes Awards. There's so much great theater and talent in the DC area that I know this will occur sooner rather than later. I look forward to making it happen, somewhere, somehow, or someway.

Attend the Fringe Festival at Edinburgh. This is the Granddaddy of edgy theater and I'd be happy to get there (good), get comped (better), or go there, with credentials, on assignment (best).

Do a Cast Party at Sardis. Either as an invitee or small angel or backer (Get me Steve Sondheim!), I long to party with the stars and showbiz crowd as we await the reviews.

Have Happy Hour with David Mamet, Edward Albee, or Tom Stoppard. The writers make it all possible. These guys have had a mostly hate-hate relationship with the critics, but I love their work and want to hear first-hand how they really want to be understood artistically, by the public. No notes (or mikes), but I'll namedrop freely in my future reviews of their plays ("Dave told me ... when Ed and I talked ... Tom was just saying ...").

Perform as a Spear Carrier or non-speaking extra. Before I work up to the major non-vocal roles, like Jasper in Gray's Close of Play, and conquer my stage fright, I'd like to silently trod the boards with some great costuming, make-up, and props, if only to hear my wife's belly laugh from the audience.

Have a One on One with Michael Kaiser. Michael, I've read your book, checked out your blog on Huffington, and looked at your website at the Kennedy Center. You've been spending too much time with the Reynolds and Sants and need a reality check from an actual, outside of the beltway, theater and arts patron (okay C-list, admittedly). Those empty seats at the KC, night after night, speak volumes about expanded programming and marketing.

Get a Terry Teachout Gig. Without a doubt, Terry's got the best critic's job in America, flying around the county and writing up shows weekly for The Wall Street Journal. This is a big country; there's more than enough regional productions and festivals out there for the both of us - not to mention on and Off-Broadway. Is there a publisher ready to give me a shot? I'll bring my own DramaUrge.com platform!

Lead a theater tour. In these days of eco-tourism, where the well-heeled traveler is pushing out to every corner of the globe, there's plenty of room on the theater circuit for less risk-taking souls and their intrepid guides. I could offer something different, say theater and a ball game (sport is a performing art), as a way of entertaining the family, while exploring the urban environment. Who wants to sign on?

Anyway, this is my active list for now, but I expect it'll keep growing. If you can make any of them happen, please e-mail me at john@dramaurge.com. I'll be sure to post my reaction to that experience at some point. And who knows, maybe we can learn from each other.